I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
