The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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