So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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