even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
