you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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