please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
