Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
