How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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