he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
