I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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