i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
