just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
