You're my little dorito
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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