ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
