he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Be still, my beating vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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