He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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