Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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