somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
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I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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