i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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