He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
