hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
