I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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