But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
