No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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