I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
