You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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