the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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