Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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