Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
