she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
