How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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