I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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