i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
