I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
