they call him Oral-B. enough said
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
And then he peed in my hair
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