Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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