he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
