I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sarcasm needs its own font
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
