Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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