so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Couch. On fire.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
