I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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