Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
