my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
