this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She bit a glass in half.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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