If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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