Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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