No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
