my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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