Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you would pick up someone in the library
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
