it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize