i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
