My hair reeks of homosexuality.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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