umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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