just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
