the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
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he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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