it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His nipple licking is glorious
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