In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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