Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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