Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
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morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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