i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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