I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize