did you get engaged???
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
