I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am naked and annoyed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
