she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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