You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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