Pants 0. Shit 1.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
